It’s a Girl!

My daughter, Freya, was born on April 4 at 7:01am! My boyfriend and I are so happy for our little baby. She’s such a sweetie!

She cracks us up, though, because whenever she is hungry, she snorts like a little piglet! It’s the cutest thing! 🤣

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Mommy-Daughter Therapy

Before I get into the main theme of today’s post, I’d like to first provide you with a little background.

Last year, I separated from my husband, taking my daughter with me. Shortly thereafter, and completely unexpectedly, I met someone new. Long story short, we hit it off very well, got pregnant, are still together and happy. It’s not always easy, specifically because he also has two children, five and eight years old. Living in a house hold with three children, all of whom are going through a similar transition with parents splitting us and new people entering their lives, can be very stressful. But we are managing and my relationship with my boyfriend is as strong as ever, despite all the obstacles we face.

Anyway, for my daughter, who will be five years old in June this year, this has been a bumpy transition. She’s doing better than could be expected, but that isn’t to underestimate the challenges she has and continues to face.

So, it was a rough weekend, in particular, yesterday, after she returned home from a visit with her father. Although she was happy and excited when she returned home, the fact that she immediately entered into play with the two other children meant that she didn’t get a quiet moment to process the events of the day. It’s a common pattern that every time she visits her father or his parents, even though she enjoys her time with them, that when she comes home, her ability to handle stress is greatly impacted. Bouts of screaming and crying and fighting with the other children ensues, and I find myself at my limits trying to deal with it all.

So, I decided I needed to do something to help her, and I had a strong feeling since yesterday evening that I should keep her home from kindergarten today and do something with her, just the two of us. This morning, that feeling had not abated in the least, so I got her up, dressed and had breakfast, dropped my boyfriend’s youngest daughter off at kindergarten, and then took my daughter, Frida, shopping for the morning. (No, this wasn’t “shopping therapy”.) She’d been asking for a new dress, as she really doesn’t have many, and has lately really taken a liking to skirts and dresses. So, I thought, I need a couple things, as well, so let’s go shopping and see if we can find her a nice dress. Then maybe we can stop for hot chocolate or ice cream, and just enjoy some quality one on one time together.

Almost immediately after we arrived at the shopping center, and were at a little cafe there, she had a meltdown when I ordered the hot chocolate she wanted, but also a small piece of cake she didn’t want. Normally, she would have been thrilled to also get a piece of cake, but not this time. Frida had been in such a good mood, so happy to be out with me, until that moment. She dropped to the floor, refused to stand up and walk, and so slid across the floor towards the table where I carried our order. Needless to say, I was not happy about this behaviour. Even after she got off the floor and sat down, she continued to sulk and fuss. Then finally, she said she doesn’t get to see her father enough. Never mind the fact she had just seen him the day before. But that’s just it. She was clearly still needing to work through it all after her visit. So, once she told me this, we managed to move forward and her mood improved.

Well, we found a cute new dress for her, and one for each of my boyfriend’s two girls, on sale for a really good price. I found a couple maternity/nursing shirts, and then we picked up a little lunch and an ice cream for Frida and headed home in time to pick up my boyfriend’s youngest from kindergarten.

For a little while things went well with the three children, but then the outbursts started and got steadily worse. So, I finally brought her upstairs, where we had pretty much the whole upper floor to ourselves. I politely asked the other girls to let us have some alone time. At first, Frida screamed and cried, threw a major tantrum and demanded to be let out. But I knew if she went back downstairs in that mood, it would be a disaster. My boyfriend thought I was making a mistake to keep her upstairs away from everyone else, and at first I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing or not. But then I had a stroke of luck, and once I got Frida relatively calm, I ws able to find something she was willing to do with me. So, we had a little painting session. For those of you who don’t know me, drawing and painting are lifelong hobbies of mine. The first picture, Frida and I painted together. She told me to paint and airplane. Not my thing, but if it makes her happy, fine. Then the second painting she did entirely on her own, while I hung up the laundry to dry on the drying rack. As she painted, we talked about what she was painting, what she should do next, etc. Then she realized that there were certain colours she didn’t have. I only buy primary colours, because any other colour I need, I can easily mix up myself, but Frida doesn’t know how to do that. So, she started asking me how to make the other colours. First, she needed brown. She had just started to paint a tree, when it hit her what she was missing. So, I told her what colours to mix, and success! She made brown for her tree! Then she needed purple, then orange, then pink, grey, and so on. It was really cool to see how well she did following my simple instructions. I didn’t do it for her, and didn’t show her how much of each colour to use. I only talked her through it, told her what to keep adding until she got the colour she wanted. It was a really fun activity for her to do with me. When she was cleaning up all her supplies, I started setting up for pregnancy yoga, and asked if she wanted to do yoga with me. She takes children’s yoga, so it was no surprise that she wanted to join in. Again, it went really well. Towards the end, she was losing focus, but I expected as much. So, she went back downstairs to join the other kids.

The rest of the afternoon and evening, we had fewer outbursts and fewer conflicts. Plus at dinner, when I asked what she enjoyed about her day, it wasn’t the shopping trip she mentioned, but the painting and yoga session that she found so enjoyable.

So, all in all, I think the day went pretty well, and was very instructive. It is my hope to be able to find regular opportunities to focus on her in this one on one way and do things together that help her to calm down and work through her emotions and relieve stress.

That was my version of Mommy-Daughter Therapy!

Night Terrors

Has anyone ever heard of this condition in small children? Both of my boyfriend’s kids went through this. The oldest has pretty much grown out of it, but the youngest, who is nearly 6, still has these episodes pretty frequently. She starts crying and screaming in the night for no obvious reason, and it can go on for at least an hour. It really sounds like she is terrified, but what’s even crazier is that she isn’t really awake and has no memory of it later. No one knows what triggers it or why she can’t wake up and come out of it. My boyfriend and his ex can only sit with her and keep her safe, like preventingher from getting hurt if she sleep walks or thrashes around. They try talking to her in a soothing tone, but there’s nothing else they can do. It’s really horrible, not only for the child, but for everyone else in the whole house, because she’s so loud that there is no where anyone can go that is quiet, and there is nothing anyone can even do to help. I feel so sorry for my boyfriend and the girls’ mother. Just watching them deal with this, it’s impossible not to see how hard it is for them.

Has anyone else experienced this with children? If so, how did you deal with it? Was there anything that helped?

Feeling Frustrated!

Is there no cure for a cold?! Really! I’ve been battlinbg one cold after another for a month straight. Before I can even get over one cold, the next round strikes! It has gotten so bad, that I’m dealing with a horrendous cough that causes me so much pain in my ribs, and of course, my belly, since I’m 34 weeks pregnant. I just want to start feeling better already, but nothing seems to help!

It’s Not an Issue of Gender Inequality…

It’s Not an Issue of Gender Inequality…

…It is an issue of society’s disconnect from that which is sacred.

Since the coming of Christendom, and possibly even further back in history, western civilizations, in particular, have been in a state of spiritual decline. This has, in effect, cut us off from our higher awareness and left us desensitized to the spiritual undercurrent of life.

For centuries, humanity has been taught that certain segments of society are lesser than others, be it women who are blamed for the fall of man in the Christian creed, or by whatever social norms dictated the day. But it was not always this way, at least not for all cultures at all times in their history.

In ages past, despite the hardships of a more primitive way of life, peoples all over the world, including the indigenous populations of Europe, have held a deep reverence for that which we call Spirit. They knew that all life was sacred, from the rocks and the earth, the plants and the trees, the sea and sky, to the animals and even humankind itself. Everything had its place in the grand scheme of things, both in life and in death. Male, female, the young and the old, the warrior and the sage, the worker in the fields and the chiefly class. All were valued that had something to offer to the whole. Elders were revered for their wisdom, gained by long years of experience; Children for their innocence and potential for the future; women for their life bearing abilities and nurturing nature, men for the part they play in the continuation of life and for their role as a protector and provider in those hunter-gatherer days. These traditional roles carried on even into the agricultural era. But the thing that stands out as a prevailing theme is the awareness that all was viewed as sacred, and that is what we are missing in our world now.

Social movements, such as feminism, are merely symptoms of a greater imbalance — that of soul. In our secular world, we have lost our connection to that spiritual undercurrent and to the very earth itself. We no longer acknowledge the sacredness of life and the world in which we live. We no longer see the divine in each other, and as a result, disease of the body, mind and soul set in, leading us down paths of decadence, where self-destructive impulses reign. As a society, we rot from the inside out.

The cure to our ailments isn’t more “us against them”, men vs. women, black vs. white, etc, etc. The cure to what ails us is a reconnect to our higher selves and to that spiritual flow of life. Reconnect to nature by spending time in quiet contemplation in settings like forests, by lakes or rivers, mountains, or anywhere that speaks to you. Discover your true self and your higher purpose in this realm, and acknowledge the divinity in others, even if they still haven’t figured it out for themselves. We are all struggling to find our way in life, so don’t allow judgement and hatred to settle into your heart for those who stumble and fall or lose their way. Instead, develop a sense of compassion and understanding for others, as well as for yourself. If we want to, we can change this world for the better, but that change must start from within, and for that to happen, we must put aside our anger and our judgement, and learn to listen with our hearts, even when it is hard to do. Make friends of your enemies by giving them the space to speak and express their fears and troubles, without judging. Learn to express your own feelings without insulting those you disagree with. Try to see the good in others, and always remember that we each have a purpose in this life, if we would only take that first step.

Well, that’s my WordPress contribution of the day, for what it’s worth. I hope at least one person will find something of value in this post, but by no means do I claim to have all the answers. This was just something that came to me at a time of heightened awareness recently, and I felt it is something I should share.

Now, go enjoy your weekend, everyone!

Uneconomic Growth

Nicely stated!

Druid Life

We seem to have collectively bought into the idea that growth is inherently good. In nature, growth is finite and exists as part of cycles that also include dying back, and predation. In summer, bird numbers grow radically, but they don’t keep growing – the approach of winter and the activities of hunters rebalance that each year. Trees do not grow forever, they reach a natural limit, and they die. Things that grow unchecked tend to be plagues, or cancers.

There are costs we do not measure. We do not look at the cost to the environment and to our own health that human activity causes. We don’t look at extinction. We don’t look at exploitation and the destruction of human lives and minds in pursuit of profit. We don’t factor in what we might later need to pay to offset the hidden costs of what we’re doing now. Rising…

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